Chat n' Chill

When you are breaking up with someone, remember the following:

• When you know that you don't want to be in the relationship anymore it is better to end it sooner than later — don't drag it out!
• Be honest:
  • Don't make up excuses! Often the person you are trying to break up with will have a solution for each one of your excuses and this may trap you into NOT breaking up.
    For example:
    • You say, "I can't see you anymore because I am not ready for a relationship."
    • S/he says "Then I will wait until you are."

• Be thoughtful, considerate, and to the point.
• Don't get trapped by control techniques:
  • Guilt
  • Pity
  • Threats

Staying in a relationship because someone uses guilt, pity or threatens isn’t healthy. If the person persists with these tactics, tell an adult who can help you.

Ending a relationship is always a hard thing to do. But, the awkwardness and difficulty you may have to go through now is worth getting out of an unhealthy relationship.

Break-ups take courage. You may have spent a lot of time with this person, so they are probably a very important part of your life (perhaps even one of your best friends). Being worried that you will feel lonely is normal. You can expect up days and down days. Be prepared to feel uncomfortable, but know that it will pass! It is important to remain clear, honest and compassionate.

• Don't live in the past. Look forward to all of the exciting things you want to do!
• Confide in someone you trust — choosing someone to talk to is the best way to deal with the emotional stress of a bad relationship and break-up.
• Remind yourself of all the reasons you ended the relationship.
• Make a plan to keep yourself busy.
• Call friends and go out.
• Take care of yourself.
• Put away pictures and things that remind you of the relationship.

• Just because you are breaking up with someone doesn't mean you don't care about the person anymore. You don't have to be mean or become enemies.
• It can be as hard on the person doing the breaking up as it is on the person who has been broken up with.
• Don't go back into the relationship just because it feels easier! You deserve more than that.

When it comes to breaking up with someone, you may face any number of the following:

• Your friends may pressure you to stay in the relationship or get mad at you for ending it.
• Your friends and family may really like the person.
• You may really like his/her friends and family.
• The breakup could split up your group of friends.
• You do not want one of your friends to date him/her.
• You do not want to hurt his/her feelings.
• You think the relationship will eventually get better or think you can change the other person.
• You do not want things to change because he/she is a major part of your life.

• Avoid blame!
• Look forward!
• Second guessing yourself or missing the person is normal, but it's not a reason to get back together!

• A relationship doesn't have to be abusive to be unhealthy or just not right for you.
• If one person isn't happy in the relationship anymore and wants out, it needs to end.
• Romantic relationships are one of the largest sources of stress for teens.